Albert flies it solo suffering his way through the real-estate themed horror film House Hunting with a full-length commentary. Check out the movie on Netflix and watch along he encounters monsters with goofy hats, annoying antagonists, and a twist ending that makes not the slightest bit of sense.

Direct download: Albert_vs._Movies_-_1_-_House_Hunting.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:18pm EDT

This week, the guys chat with awesome author Ellie Anne about writing, trans-media, and her new steam-punk fantasy novel, The Silver Sickle. Later in the show we dig into the strengths and weaknesses of World War Z (warning: spoilers).

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The Silver Sickle by Ellie Anne

Film Crit Hulk

The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

Breaking Steele Aaron Patterson

J. C Hutchins

Transmedia

Sundown: White Birch [also on Google Play]

Steampunk Holmes

Direct download: HEP_-_44_-_Author_Interview_with_Ellie_Anne.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:00am EDT

A Ghost In Time 
by B.T. Joy
He closes his eyes. The light flashes. 
Somewhere west. Wyoming. Montana. Little Hallmark across the street. Hanging lilacs. Next door along. A picture house showing the matinees. His eyes, getting old, can’t see the listings. 
May as well cross. Look what’s on. Halfway over. An Asian guy in an immaculate suit passes. He feels the familiar repulsive burn of electric between them. The Asian guy thinks they’ve brushed bodies and makes something of it. 
“Hey fella! Watch where you’re going, huh!?”
He doesn’t respond. 
You’re wondering how he can be so calm? It wasn’t always that way. Not always that way at all. 
His shuddering feet reach the other curb like tiny boats coming into shore and he shuffles to the doors of the picture house. He doesn’t have time to watch the movies. He’ll never have time to watch a full movie again. But sometimes he likes to read the advertisements. 
Schindler’s List. Jurassic Park. Sleepless in Seattle.
Must be the early 90s now. Christ the world was getting old. 
He closes his eyes. The light flashes. 
Sidewalk bench. Sitting. Early morning and no folk around. The Deep South by the look of the trees all shining in the muggy wind and the French Colonial facades, blue and peach, that line the good-sides of the streets like Hollywood sets of pinewood and plaster. 1970, by the cars.  
But what were you asking? Oh, yes, so calm. 
He wasn’t always so calm. It wasn’t always that way. For the first ten years he’d run around from place to place- from time to time- like a devil on speed. Trying to grab at people. Shouting. Screaming his name. Saying he was lost and he wanted to go home now. 
Nothing ever changed. He couldn’t make anything change at any rate.   
Nothing ever stayed the same long enough for anyone to understand. 
He looks down at his hands. Resting on his legs that rest on that little sky-blue bench in Louisiana or Mississippi; or wherever the fuck he is. Old hands. With delves deep as canyons and the little lilac rivers of veins rushing everywhere; eroding the skin. 
So old. Getting so... so... old. 
He closes his eyes. The light flashes.
Chase Field. On the grass. Fuck. Chase Field again. On the grass. Strewn with shirtless bodies, old and young. Brown porpoises lolling in the Phoenix summer. Pittsburg Pirates win. Arizona Diamondbacks lose. Ten runs to three. 
He sits on the wall. The lawn is emptying. Gingham. Striped. Checker. Tartan. Calico. White. The blankets are being skinned from the lawn. Folded between semi-naked bodies glossed with sweat. The grass is littered with cartons and discarded chili-dogs. The march is being played. 
Not again. Not again with the fucking march. Must times be recycled. Isn’t it bad enough. Isn’t it torture enough. Isn’t it hell enough. 
The march. The march. The triumphant peppy march. Pittsburg Pirates win. Arizona Diamondbacks lose. Ten runs to three.
The people are swarming like a chain of coffee-coloured ants. They bear insufferably close. The repulsive electric stabs at him. A thousand stinging tentacles. 
He falls off the wall and wails when he hits the earth. Mothers pull their children into shawls of towels and blankets. 
“Just a drunk.” They whisper to each other. 
From the flat of his back he stares up at the painful Arizona sun. 
He closes his eyes. The light flashes.
Dark place. Perhaps by the sea. Because he can hear it lolling on the shore. Cooler night. Still on his back. Faint wisps of air up there. In all that blackness. Faint green. Radiation green. Perhaps it’s thicker than it looks because there are no stars. 
But the sea. The sea out there. In the dark. Still lolling on the shore. 
What were you asking? 
Calm? 
Yes. 
Calm now. Calm now. Like the sea. Like the sea. Out there. In the dark. Still lolling on the shore. 
Not always like this. Not at all always like this. Ran frantic once. Devil on speed. Grab people. Shout. Scream name. 
Lost. Lost. Lost.  
Want to go home!  
Want to go home!
Sea now. Dark. Lolling on shore. 
What were you asking? 
What? 
Does he remember? 
Of course he remembers. 
Who could forget? Done with her. Blood on privates. Hers. His. Jimmy’s. Jimmy’s knife. Pulled it out. No. Put it back. Pulled it out. More blood. Throat this time. Not from below. Not from where they’d forced themselves inside. 
Throat this time. Welling up. Red. Like the sea. In the dark. Lolling on the shore. Tongue lolling. On the grass. Sea on the shore. Tongue on the grass. Lolling. Lolling. 
He closes his eyes. The light flashes.
Chase Field. On the grass. Fuck. Chase Field again. On the grass. Old and young. Brown porpoises. Lolling. Lolling. Lolling. Pittsburg Pirates win. Arizona Diamondbacks lose. Ten runs to three. 
He sits on the wall. Gingham. Striped. Checker. Tartan. Calico. White. Red. Like the sea. Welling up. Lolling. Lolling. Blankets. Skinned from the lawn. Not again. Not again. Fucking march. Recycled. Bad enough. Torture enough. Hell enough. 
The march. The march. Pittsburg Pirates. Arizona Diamondbacks. Ten runs to three.
Swarming ants. Insufferably close. The repulsive electric.
He falls. 
Mothers pull children. 
“Just a drunk.”
“Just a drunk.”  
  Painful Arizona sun.
He closes his eyes. The light flashes. 
No. No. 
Interstate 44. Lebanon. Missouri. June 14th. Cover of cypress trees. Old Harley store closed for business. Almost transparent moon. Dark clouds and gold-dust of dawn. 
No. No. No.  
He looks to the trees. To the murmuring sounds not leaves but men are making under the anonymity of shade. No. Old now. Weak now. No. 
In the dark a hand. His hand. Her mouth. His jeans. Her blood. Jimmy puts back his cock. Pulls out his knife. 
She dies. And here, they didn’t know, they knew too well, folk are placed in pods of iron; and fed to eternity. 
He closes is eyes. The light flashes. 
Direct download: HEP_-_Short_Echoes_5_-_Hard_Time_by_B.T._Joy.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:22pm EDT

In this episode Tony and Al take a ride with Rubber, a movie about a cold-hearted serial killer named Robert who goes around exploding people's heads with his psychokinetic powers; also he is a tire. Later the joys of bad movies are extolled, and the tragic wonder of technological progress is examined.

 

Links

Atantic Rim

Phil Hornshaw 

So You Created a Wormhole

Upstream Color

Joyland by Stephen King

Linotype: the Film

John Titor

David Icke

Bohemian Grove

Coral Castle

Bishop Castle

 

"Linotype: The Film" Official Trailer from Linotype: The Film on Vimeo.

Direct download: HEP_-_43_-_The_Secret_Society_of_Forgotten_Arts.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:25am EDT

This week the guys wander the ash-grey labyrinthine hallways of House of Leaves. They discuss men of steel and iron. Tony is sleep deprived; Albert is just stupid.

 

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Immortals

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

House of Leaves Annotated (Albert thinks he remembers this being a thing, but can no longer locate it. Here is some other fan obsession in its place.)

The Tall Man

Sunshine

Kick Ass 2

That story about Nick Cage Jim Carrey pulling his support for Kick Ass 2.

Pomodoro Technique

Habit RPG

Provigil

 

A fun fact: the word pomodoro mean's "tomato" in Italian, because the original kitchen timer used for the technique was shaped like a tomato.

Direct download: HEP_-_42_-_Sleepless_in_Sector_ZZ9_Plural_Z_Alpha.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:48pm EDT

This week Al and Tony are Mama's boys as they talk about the new horror film produced by Guillermo del Toro and directed by some guy you've never heard of (That's bound to be a good sign, right?). They sink their teeth into the effectiveness of various horror tropes and take a shortcut through the land of memes. Also, Javier Botet is freakin' scary looking.

 

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Links:

Achievement Hunter Let's Plays

Red vs. Blue

Hold Your Breath

The Devil's Backbone

Andy Serkis

Javier Botet

Marble Hornets Entry #72

Confession Bear Meme

Slender Man meme

 

Next week we'll be veering into the literary world to talk about the work of heartbreaking genius that is House of Leaves.

 

 
Direct download: HEP_-_41_-_Your_MOM_is_a_Bad_CGI_Effect.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:25am EDT

In this special edition of the podcast, Al and Tony spoil the everloving crap out of Game of Thrones. You've been warned. Catch up with the show first. There may be some other subtle spoilers from further in the series, but no major details.

Direct download: HEP_-_SPOILERCAST_1_-_Game_of_Thrones_Season_3.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:00pm EDT

This week the guys check out the viral web series Marble Hornets, and enter a terrifying world where the Slenderman photo-bombs every home movie ever. Later they discuss the competing values of privacy and security and Al complains about not nearly enough nukes going off.

 

Download it now.

 

Links to Things:

Smodcast

Dan Carlin

Vice nuke documentary

Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson

The Silver Sickle by Ellie Anne

Pontypool (movie)

Pontypool Changes Everything by Tony Burgess

House Hunting

Sympathy for the Slenderman

Direct download: HEP_-_40_-_Sympathy_for_the_Slenderman.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:39am EDT

This week the guys dig into retro found-footage short film anthology V/H/S. Also discussed: MMA fighters with exploded toes; MMA fighters with no limbs at all; GMOs are complicated; charity is good.

 

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Links:

Kyle Maynard: aka the no arms no legs wrestling guy.

Marble Hornets

"Take This Lolipop"

Under the Empyrean Sky

Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation

Common Sense Podcast

 

 

A clarification: we talk about Bill Gates being involved with developing GMOs for the third world. We talked about Monsanto's questionable business practices. What we did not discuss (because we were not aware of it at the time) was the fact that Bill Gates's foundation is working with Monsanto to develop these improved crops. To quote the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy completely out of context, "This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." On the whole me maintain that trying to help keep people from starving to death is a good idea, and will leave off criticizing too harshly those who are doing far more than us in trying to make a difference.

 

 
Direct download: HEP_-_39_-_And_They_Lived_Harpily_Ever_After.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:49am EDT

This week Al and Tony go up against The Seven Psycopaths. Tony reveals his love of coin collecting. Albert is still excited about giant robots. Game of Thrones hijacks the podcast.

 

Download it here.

 

Links:

War nickles

Django (1966)

Unforgiven

Atlantic Rim

Transformers Prime

Battlestar Galactica

 
Direct download: HEP_-_38_-_Coin-Operated_Robot_Cowboys.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:24am EDT